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Left to right, retired Sgt. 1st Class Robert Johnson, Staff Sgt. James Ide, and Richard Rivera pray after service at CF Bell County for their families who are relocating.
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U.S. Army Captain Lance Blount lay in his bed at home in Killeen, TX. His wife and children were already up. It had been months since he returned from combat in Iraq. Months since he had lost four of his 89 men in combat. Months since he had called each of the men’s wives to tell them that their husbands had fought bravely and were not coming home. The faces of their children rose up in his mind.
He groaned and turned over, trying to fight what he knew was coming: dark thoughts and despair. I’m so done, he thought. I just want to lay in this bed and never get up. I don’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone. I don’t even want to do those things I used to love—camping, playing soccer with my girls, taking my wife out on dates. Guilt and depression followed. How can I think this way? I’m a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ; I know He is the answer. God, help me. Show me where I can find some help. I think I need to talk to someone, but I don’t want to hear any psychobabble or be put on any pills. Help me, Lord.
In the shower, suddenly an image assaulted his mind. He was back in combat: He could hear the loud shells going off; he could smell the smoke of scorched earth and the strange burning fumes of war. He saw his men scrambling to return fire. Then, just as suddenly, it was over. Shakily, he dried off and got dressed.
You can find the complete article in the Winter 2009 issue of Calvary Chapel Magazine, which will ship soon. To subscribe click here.
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